I copied this from a msg I sent a friend back in March after I m/c. I wanted to remember it:

March 21, 2013

I had a miscarriage this weekend. I was 11 weeks but the fetus died the week I got back from TX at 8 weeks 3 days (when I noted in my blog that the bloat disappeared). We couldn't hear the heartbeat when I went to my first appointment so they thought it was too early and scheduled another appt two weeks later to try again. After an ultrasound we learned that it had died just a few days before that first appointment. 

People will say that a miscarriage is just cramping and bleeding, but it is legitimate labor and delivery with all the stages of a full term pregnancy. I don't remember my last miscarriage being as painful as this one, just shocked that it was all the stages of labor. I am still having cramping off and on but they are more like regular menstrual cramping which is annoying but not a big deal.

Emotionally I am at peace though I wonder how everything will play out. I thought this baby would go full term because Aaron randomly drew a picture of a baby in my arms at the beginning of January and insisted I was going to have a baby and then I ended up pregnant. The first time I miscarried the baby was due in July like both the boys, but I felt that our baby was meant to be a spring baby. This one would have been due the beginning of Oct so it wouldn't have been a spring baby either. Of course, 'spring' could be a symbolism of a point in our life too which I feel is approaching. Last mother's day I was singing in sacrament mtg with a friend about being a mother to a son and a daughter and felt the whisper that "She is coming". I want a daughter and felt a girl presence when I was pregnant with Aaron. I have hopes that we will yet have one more, but I am also concerned that I seem to only be able to get pregnant every 3 years. This cycle started 3 years to the day after my last miscarriage. I found this realization the most bitter. If I really can only get pg every 3 years, I will be 39 at my next opportunity. Not my ideal world, and even then there's no guarantee I won't m/c again. I hope for a miracle but leave it in the Lord's hands.