Buried Alive

*sigh* The house is such a heavy burden. Every day I watch the cracks in the wall and the tile get bigger, but I feel absolutely helpless. We have no money to do anything about it. I finally hooked the hose back up so that at least the leak would keep the soil wet enough that hoepfully it'll stall some of the damage, but I'm afraid it is too late.

Sharon and Julie know how bad the house is and how much work it will take just to detox the inside. Sharon did a walk through with me last week. I felt so overwhelmed I completely shut down on Monday when I had the time to do something about it. I understand L in her plight when she left San Antonio. You need help but it is too embarassing and overwhelming to do anything about it until it is easier just to walk away.

I need to start in the cave because that can become a storage are while we go through the rest of the house. I haven't really been in there since we left for NJ, so I decided if nothing else, I needed to at least go in and LOOK at it and get a feel for what to do. Oh it just sucks every ounce of energy out of me. I want to call Sharon and Julie, but it is embarassing and OUR mess, not theirs. How do I choose what to keep or throw? And what do I do with Bob's stuff?