It has been too long. Today is Peter's 4 month checkup. Our insurance came into effect just in time (yesterday) though we don't have any info to declare it to the dr's office. He is growing like crazy though. This weekend he started rolling back and forth. He'd done it about a month ago an then quit. Then last week he was rolling to his stomach almost immediately after being set down on his back. Oh he would get mad! But Saturday he rolled tummy to back again and was starting to get from point A to point B. He is starting to figure it all out and soon he'll be all over the house. When he is on his tummy he is trying hard to be mobile - kicking his legs and scootching his tummy. We call him an inch worm.

He smiles whenever he sees Jared or Aaron. He can pick Jared out of a crowd of classmates. He looks up at them with eyes of adoration. He loves it when Matthew plays with him - especially games like sit up and stand up. He's very cooperative getting his diaper changed and lifts his bum up and moves his leg up and down when I need him to.

Peter is a joy and I wonder I could be so lucky.

The Bishop's wife stopped by today to drop off a present. It was sweet of her. I really like her. We chatted for a bit before she left. I almost cried when she asked how I was doing. Mom called yesterday too to find out how I was. I haven't told anyone besides Matthew that I am dealing with PPD. I've gone from moderate to mild since school started, but this week has been a lot harder.

Anyway, the real reason I wanted to post was to dote on Peter. He had his 2 month checkup yesterday. He now weighs 11 lbs 11 oz, 23 in long, and his head is 15 in. He got three shots and an oral rotavirus vaccine. He ended up sleeping the rest of the day so last night was a little rough.

The day before though was amazing. He nursed every two hours, went to bed/asleep about 11:30 and didn't wake up until 4:00 or 4:30. He woke me up by thumping his legs on his bed. Normally he wakes up by the time I need to take the boys to school but he had to be woken up.

I think he will be close to rolling from back to tummy soon. The leg thumping is him bringing his legs up and then dropping them down, but that is the movement he uses to go to his side. He can get there relatively easily, it will be a matter of time before he makes it all the way over.

The other thing he really enjoys doing is going from laying down to sitting to standing - especially standing. Well, today Matthew taught him real sit ups. He LOVES it! I even video'd him trying to do them. You can see him straining his muscles trying to do it. And when we tell him to lay down he flings himself backwards. It's amazing and so cute - but I think he will be quite the wiggle worm soon!

We are getting ready to switch out our phones so I'm trying to do a data recovery effort. These are texts that I have kept on my phone:

Sent to:

Matthew 6-13-14 10;52 am Took Aaron to doctor. He has pneumonia. Getting antibiotics and probiotics

Matthew 4/28/14 12:53 pm Jared passed out for about 15 minutes. Looked up peds to get him looked at. Not sure if it counts as a seizure or not but that is a serious side effect of his meds.

Brent, Jenna, Mark, Mike, Sharon, Tran 2/11/14 9:41 pm The y is strong in this family. We are having another boy.

Matthew 12/03/13 1:52 pm Heard heartbeat!

Mom, Dad 12/05/12 2:45 pm I am in the bathroom just a min

Julie 11/27/12 4:46 pm I am going to cry. Jared got all his writing done at school. He came home and all on his own worked on his homework. What usually takes all night he has done in maybe 20 min. He still has 5 problems to go but got distracted by the computer when Aaron needed help. I think he has earned the break but want him to finish before the meds are completely out of his system.

Julie 11/26/12 6:10 pm 5 mg adderol starting tomorrow for Jared.

Brent 11/09/12 11:02 am Oh yeah the boys are in heaven :) and I need about 200 bucks to invest in snow gear so they don't freeze themselves to death playing in it :p

Mark 11/01/12 12:56 pm :) We think that probably roads have been cleared enough we could make it but gas would be the big concern. I also need to be here on Sun for primary program practice since we are singing as a fam

Megan Myers 10/31/12 6:31 pm No kidding! But how could I not be ok when I have so many people praying for us? :) We have been greatly blessed for sure.

Jenna 10/31/12 1:30 pm Talked to the neighbor. It could be as late as the 9th or as early as this fri. I have a feeling it will be 2 more days but we will see.

Melissa Freer 10/31/12 12:31 pm I have no idea how long it will take. It came on yesterday morning for about 10 min then went off again but there was a down line on the street next to us so that is probably why. Yesterday it was in the low 50s and today it is supposed to be in the low 40s so it is getting colder but it is still bearable.

Mark 10/29/12 10:46 pm Thanks. We are too :) we will see how the night plays out. So far the worst thing is having to take the dog out to pee though he has refused to go the last hour. Hope he makes it all night.

Mark 10/29/12 10:43 pm We are still fine. We lost power about 6:30 but Matthew has a battery that we have lights plugged in to so that has helped plus the stove is gas so we can still cook. It is mostly a lot of wind not much rain.

Dad 10/29/12 7:40 pm They were scared of the dark but Matthew pulled out his battery and plugged in the lamp so they are fine now.

Dad 10/29/12 6:38 pm Power just went out. Wind picked up. Here we go!

Mom 10/29/12 6:02 pm Are you serious?! Mom! Glad you are fine. It is windy but ok still

Brent 10/29/12 1:22 pm Yeah. Mom and Mark think I should head to NC but I don't want to be driving right now.

Brent 10/29/12 1:13 pm Yep. We are about an hour from Philadelphia and 20 min from the Delaware River which it is projected to follow. This should be fun ;)

Julie 10/27/12 10:12 pm Jared was a ninja and Aaron as a pea shooter. No one knew who he was and they thought Jared was a burglar. No very many adults dressed up either.

Julie 10/27/12 10:08 pm Tonight was our trunk r treat. It was not the same. Miss you.

Mom 10/24/12 10:49 pm Glad you are ok. Exciting night for you :)

Mike 10/24/12 10:47 pm Thanks for letting me know. Glad she is ok though I am sure she is pretty shaken up.

Mom 10/20/12 9:45 am Aaron just realized he is missing his gobbles - turkey. He is very sad.

Matthew 10/18/12 3:13 pm No school tomorrow. Antibiotics it is.

Matthew 10/18/12 2:09 pm Got Jared a 2:50 appt at the tricare doctor

Matthew 10/14/12 2:26  pm Good since that was what I was expecting from your pt score ;)

Matthew 10/14/12 1:59 pm LOL ok. I had read that as 430 of course so I was trying to figure if it took you 4 min or 4 hours. Good work! 17 was the limit right?

Julie 10/12/12 5:41 pm I first think about calling after the boys leave for school which ends up as the same thing for you so I want to wait a bit to give you a chance to breathe and then I get busy and the next I know kids are home :/ I am mostly doing well. How are you doing?

Julie 10/12/12 5:01 pm You have been on my mind a lot lately but I feel like it is never a good time to call :(

Matthew 10/11/12 5:33 pm Well at least we had lunch together

Melinda 9/29/12 6:15 pm Oops. Well at least you can watch it online later :)

Julie 9/7/12 12:48 am I bet so. She was a good teacher. I want to keep talking but Matthew is ready to sleep now. I will try to call you tomorrow.

Julie 9/7/12 12:45 am She needs to bribe him with candy :)

Julie 9/7/12 12:44 am Poor guy. Poor you. I was surprised you put him in this year. I thought you would have waited.

Julie 9/7/12 12:38 am Ok. Is Taylor getting any better after school?

Julie 9/7/12 12:36 am Matthew needed to decompress though I wanted to go to sleep an hour ago. Do we need to send you one straight to you?

Julie 9/7/12 12:30 am Oh dear. I wonder why they didn't give it to you.

Julie 9/7/12 9:53 pm Did you get our check at the closing?

Melissa Freer 9/4/12 10:03 pm You were just so excited about each other I am sad for you. Are these other guys from the site too?

Sharon 9/3/12 7:28 pm This is in New York. We are settling in ok. I am starting to figure out my way around town though it is still a little intimidating. I am def not ready to navigate my way around new york by myself. It is hard to believe we have been here 3 Sundays already. How is Brian liking his new teacher?

Dad 9/3/12 5:28 pm Yep they were in central park

Sara Christiansen 9/3/12 I don't know if you can read it but it is the directors guild of america

Mom 9/3/12 4:23 pm King of the rock. The rocks are in central park.

Mom 9/3/12 4:22 pm We are in New York.

Dad 9/3/12 Not quite the rockies but we'll take it.

Sharon 9/3/12 Found Wicked on Broadway

Sara Cansen 9/3/12 1:54 pm Thought you would like that. If I could I would have bought you something and sent it your way.

Sara Cansen 9/3/12 This makes me think of you (moustache display)

Julie 9/2/12 8:20 pm Aw thanks! Jared has been wanting to see more pics of the house so this is great. We completely filled the living room here with our stuff and had one week to get it emptied. We mostly did it but it was a lot of work.

Mark 8/29/12 8:41 pm Well we don't start school until the 6th so I thought it would be nice to take a trip down but with all the other people coming and going I am not sure if there is a way to coordinate it.

Dad The pond behind our house on the walking trail to the church

Matthew After complaining about not wanting to go to the library, I think we have some satisfied customers. First time card holders. (pic of WW library train)

Mom 8/16/12 6:35 pm This is the longest 5 hours ever! Still in Penn. Ugh

Jaclyn 8/16/12 2:11 pm Thanks! We are in Penn about 3 and a half hours from our destination. So ready to be done :)

Dad, Mom 8/16/12 11:02 am From julie: Good news!!! The house met appraisal and there is no inspection required! Moving forward!

Julie 8/16/12 11:01 am I am looking forward to not having to get up and driving

Julie 8/16/12 10:59 am No I was up 3 hours ago. It is just taking that long to get on the road.

Julie 8/16/12 10:56 am West Stanton Pa. We have about 5 hours ahead of us. We haven't left from the hotel yet.

Julie 8/16/12 10:54 am I was hoping that was what that msg was going to say

Dad 8/16/12 9:04 am Nope. And we actually get to see the scenery now.

Dad 8/16/12 8:26 am Good morning from West Stanton Pa. We have about a 5 hour drive left. I am the only one awake right now so we will probably head out about 10 again.

Mom Baugh 8/16/12 8:19 am Yes :) I wished it weren't dark when we drove through west VA. I could tell there was some great scenery we were missing.

Melissa Hoffer 8/16/12 12:06 am Yeah he has. It is crazy. (response to pic of Jared in front of PA sign)

Julie 8/15/12 11:55 pm You are awesome. Thanks :)

Matthew 8/15/12 11:51 pm Let me know what you figure out. Barely got a spot and with aaron asleep don't want to get out.

Mom 8/15/12 8:31 pm On the other side of columbus ohio

Julie 8/15/12 5:53 pm ok. Oops I should have left the drop clothes. I think I threw them away. There is the mud in the garage for the crack but they probably do need some tape too.

Julie 8/15/12 5:48 pm Did you paint today? Is the stuff still there? I am scheduling the pickup and need to tell them how much there is.

Mom 8/15/12 5:11 pm :) We are almost to columbus now

Melissa Freer 8/15/12 3:56 pm It is long and tedious. Can't wait for it to be over. Unfortunately we will probably have one more day of it.

Mom Baugh 8/15/12 3:54 pm It is ok :) So many things to relearn as we blend back together.

Mom Baugh 8/15/12 3:51 pm That would have been good advice for the travel scheduler...

Dad 8/15/12 3:05 pm Where is the time change? Do you know?

Mom Baugh 8/15/12 11:25 am Both and not well timed stops. One time we stopped for a potty break then for gas 20 minutes later and both stops took a lot of time.

Mom, etc 8/15/12 9:34 am Headed out. Will probably stop somewhere in Penn.

Dad, Mom, Mom Baugh 8/15/12 12:46 am Stopped at a hotel in Greenville, Illinois

Dad, etc 8/14/12 9:30 pm We are about 80 miles from St. Louis. I think visiting Stephen has been taken off the list.

Tran 8/14/12 1:59 pm :) It is hard isn't it? Well we are off so I will text later.

Tran 8/14/12 1:51 pm Thanks :) Did you get everything moved in yesterday?

Tran 8/14/12 1:45 pm Long! We have just left for the day and still have a 10 hour drive ahead.

Dad 8/14/12 12:09 pm On the road

Julie 8/14/12 9:40 am I left your lock in the pantry

Julie 8/14/12 9:33 am :( Just wait til you go to the house... It is surreal to see it so empty. Which by the way there is a pile of stuff labeled for people but it can just be taken to the church probably.

Julie 8/14/12 9:26 am How funny about your dream. I think painting is a great idea. I think I moved the paint to the garage. There is one that has a tiny bit and one unopened. The white is in my bathroom. Utilities are on til closing. I did turn the ac up so it wouldn't run much.

Dad, Mom 8/13/12 4:47 pm We are in Cushing, OK which is 20 min from Mary's

Dad, Mom 8/13/12 12:19 pm We have just left the great state of Texas, welcome to OK, the Sooner state.

Julie 8/13/12 9:24 am Thanks. We can use all the prayers. Can I call you and talk while I drive?

Julie 8/13/12 9:23 am I know. I wish I could help you move.

Dad, Mom 8/13/12 7:59 am We just passed exit 21. we are about 30 miles from Fort Worth.

Matthew 8/9/12 9:36 am I think I may have a nervous breakdown before this is all over.

Julie 8/6/12 9:46 pm You, woman, are the most amazing friend ever!!!

Jaclyn 8/6/12 5:51 pm Unless you were up for a late dinner I don't think I will have a chance tonight. We are into hard core pack mode. Thank you for being willing though.

Haley Hinojosa 8/4/12 7:16 pm I only speak the truth. It will prob be about 7:45 when I get there

Matthew 8/4/12 2:58 pm Did you have your test today?

Josh 7/22/12 9:59 pm Ok. My phone is almost dead so I will call from a different number.

Josh 7/22/12 9:57 pm We probably ought to finish our earlier conversation but I just laid down with the boys to put them to bed and would need to wait to talk.

Josh 7/20/12 1:22 pm Ok. I talked to someone at the credit union and they do closings at the branch. All they need is a notary and they always have one on location so closing on Sat isn't an issue and sellers are typically not present at the closing. So my guess is it won't matter if we are already gone.

Matthew 7/20/12 1:07 pm I just heard from RBFCU and our loan has been approved! Unfortunately, the loan officer doesn't think the 10th is realistic. He says the 17th is better.

Josh 7/20/12 1:06 pm Yay! Did you happen to ask about a saturday closing?

Josh 7/19/12 9:00 pm When you get a chance will you give me a call. I have a few things I want to talk to you about.

Matthew 7/19/12 3:15 pm Ok. Probably the sig page isn't enough...

Matthew 7/18/12 The wettest Chickfila event yet. If you are already wet from the rain you might as well play in it. (pic of boys with pool)

Matthew 7/18/12 7:15 am woohoo #55

Matthew 7/17/12 7:02 pm Talked to realtor. We don't owe anything.

Julie, Matthew 7/17/12 1:30 pm I just found the key to our u-haul lock! Yay!

Josh 7/17/12 7:06 am, fwd to Matthew 7/17/12 7:19 am Some questions: you still need 2% for closing? Will the lack of carpet in the closet be a problem for the loan? And if we do have to put carpet for it, will that amount come out of the allowance?

Matthew 7/17/12 7:07 am (fwd from Josh) I will also cover the cost of the engineering report.

fwd to Matthew 7/17/12 6:49 am Valerie, I have a revised offer. 73K w/ 2k carpet allowance AND we'll take the house as is -- no more repairs or painting. Let me know. - Josh

Josh 7/16/12 9:51 pm Are you still up or is it too late to call?

Elizardos 7/10/12 2:12 pm Closing costs are about 10 - 20 % of the selling price. Would you guys be able to come up with the 7-8K?

Matthew 7/9/12 6:16 pm Showing the house to another family at 7

Julie 7/9/12 3:31 pm How did Josh's house hunt go? I called a realtor and she is coming wed morning.

Mark 7/9/12 9:28 am I guess now that there is another v in the family I can pass all my initialed niceties to her

Received txts

Laralin 8/21/14 4:53 pm So I thought I should tell you this in the middle of the night but of course no cell service for me. Be confident and KNOW that you are a GREAT mother to your children. You were hand-picked to be their mother and you are a wonderful fit for them. Okay. That's all. I love you.

Dad 8/8/14 9:28 pm Glad you came down. Love you

Jaclyn 8/8/14 7:05 am Safe travels, friend. Thank you (and Peter) for carving out time to bless me :D (((Hugs)))

Laralin 8/4/14 1:56 pm I got the job!!!

Jaclyn 7/30/14 4:28 pm I just read your FB msg and literally gasped!

Dad 7/30/14 10:05 am Tell Aaron that grandpa is happy because I'll be able to see him again about 2:45

Dad 7/30/14 8:12 am Good morning, Val. You little sneaker!! Talk about surprises. Welcome home to Texas!

Matthew 7/15/14 3:34 pm Submitted all the travel vouchers.

Matthew 7/2/14 9:31 am Are you up yet?

Sharon W 6/30/14 11:49 am Yay!!!!! Can't wait to see the sweet guy! :D missing you wish I could give you a hug and him a snuggle!

Melinda 6/30/14 11:45 am I can't wait to make him smile

Melissa H 6/30/14 11:44 am Yay! Congrats momma! I hope it was everything you had hoped! I am sure he is amazing! And he decided to have his own month, just barely!

Laralin 6/29/14 5:46 pm I'm getting so excited for you to meet your new son, Thing 3.
Laralin 6/29/14 5:45 pm Hi. Is your bun still in the oven?

Laralin 6/1/14 10:23 am Happy birthday, my lovely, wonderful, and dearest friend! I love you.

Laralin 5/26/14 3:27 pm My new meds are working wonders.
Laralin 5/26/14 3:26 pm I'm good. My head is clearing. I went shopping and bought basically a new wardrobe because my mom gave me money to. Because she saw the pic of my face on fb and said I looked thinner. So I told her how I lost a bunch of weight. And the wearable clothes were falling off on bottom and hanging on top. And my work shoes split in half on the bottom all the way through. And stuff that sort of fit were torn and stained and not presentable. And I wasn't trying to get money from her, but she offered. So I hit memorial day sales. And I finally envisioned how to arrange my apt and have been cleaning and rearranging and purging this weekend. Still a ways to go, but there's direction, motivation, a specific goal, energy, and progress to be pleased with.

Laralin 5/26/14 2:44 pm I love you, my beautiful friend! You are incredibly special in general but especially to me as well.

Tammy 4/4/14 7:03 pm Sounds lovely! I was there in spirit & didn't even know it :)

Tammy 4/4/14 6:55 pm Just thinking abt u. Hope everything is going well... I know moves r difficult. Wish I was there. I'd love to help u get ready 4 the BIG day. I am so happy u'll b closer! HUGS!

Matthew 3/31/14 1:00 pm Orders published

Jaclyn 3/12/14 8:19 am I'm so excited for you!!! I know you and your family are where you are meant however, for selfish reasons, I wish you were near. Know I'm supporting you thru prayer and wish I was there to do more.

Jaclyn 3/12/14 8:13 am "heavenly homemakers" is also useful
Jaclyn 3/12 14 8:12 am "The healthy home economist' is a really great blog. Lots of info on coconut oil in case you have interest.

Jaclyn 3/10/14 2:25 pm Shut your mouth!!!! Congratulations!!!! I just read the post.

Matthew 3/6/14 8:42 am Can you talk?

Rosana 3/4/14 9:49 am Valerie - thank you for your testimony on Sunday. It really touched my soul. - Rosana

Melinda 2/8/14 12:02 pm I miss you

Laralin 1/4/14 12:03 pm Hi Val. Just thinking about you because I just read your blog about 2013 goals. I think it is pretty great that you tried to keep every goal even if you haven't accomplished all of them yet. So keep it up. :)

Dad 12/24/13 9:17 pm Got the calendar. Congratulations

Julie 12/19/13 11:03 am By the way, I miss you.

Tammy 12/19/13 9:57 am U r such an AMAZING FRIEND! Just wanted u 2 know how much I love u!

Laralin 9/28/13 4:31 pm Hey Val! Great job! You're amazing and I love you.

Laralin 9/4/13 7:23 pm Hey. I love you and you're awesome. Don't go forgetting these things.

Jaclyn 8/29/13 12:24 pm I just read and installed an app called PaceDJ. It allows you to measure your comfortable pace then it calculates what music has a certain beats per minute

Jaclyn 8/28/13 7:31 pm The last 3 minutes of the second run were the toughest for me. I kept saying in my head "I can do ALL things thru Christ who strengthens me". Lol

Jaclyn 8/28/13 3:26 pm I'm really proud of you! I wondered how it went... :S Haven't gone yet. Giving myself the next hour to mentally prepare. The last one was tough for me to get thru. I'm no where near a 10 minute mile.

Jaclyn 8/26/13 8:31 am God is SO good to us! Really. We have the luxury of being able to run this morning. We are prepared and totally have this!

Jaclyn 8/26/13 8:29 am I remind myself how awesome it is that I GET to run! I'm Thankful for my legs. Some people wish they were in our position this morning.

Jaclyn 8/26/13 8:28 am I'm going to encourage you to NOT think about the time. Think about your day, the boys, how awesome you are, how healthy your heart is becoming, your strong lungs...

Jaclyn 8/20/13 12:26 pm 1) I'm so proud of you!!! 2) I miss you! 3) I haven't jogged since Saturday

Mike 7/25/13 9:00 am Genevieve Lorraine was born at 7:50 am on July 25. Weighing 7 lbs 9 oz and 19/25 inches long

Kim 5/5/13 7:09 pm Hi Val it's Kim, just reaching out to you. We're moving along with the house, so just wanted to see if you selected the other place. I'm re-listing the house, but thought I'd touch base with u

Melissa F 4/25/13 7:15 pm I am pregnant

Laralin 3/27/13 6:36 pm You are a reason I feel loved, special, and smile. So happy you are my dear friend. Random but wanted to tell you anyway.

Laralin 3/13/13 6:55 pm *hugs* I know you're going through something rough right now. If you want/need to discuss, I'm available. I love you dearly.

Laralin 3/4/13 6:14 pm Oh Val. I love you and want to make sure you remember. I hope you had a great Monday.

Laralin 1/10/13 10:44 am Sorry you're sick today. I hope you have a speedy recovery. Try to rest as much as possible. If you over do it, the illness could linger. I love you.

Mark 12/31/12 8:32 pm wow - good time. Thanks for coming.

Kelly M 12/28/12 5:33 pm :) I love hearing about everything you're up to on fb. Yay for a white Christmas!

Daniell B We miss u all hope ur holidays were as merry as ours love Jonathan Daniell Jacelyn Jathen and baby Jaxsin!!

Mark 12/24/12 5:51 pm Eliza - pink, Camille - purple,  Vivi - indifferent

Julie 12/19/12 2:30 pm So, I am doing fine. Last week I was more upset. I guess I am glad it is going to be more the slow process than sudden.

Julie 12/19/12 2:09 pm Thanks for your message. I like friends. I miss you.

Mike 11/30/12 1:46 pm That's good that you all are doing ok. How's the house sharing? We're doing alright. Tran's almost done with the semester, and my busy season is almost over. So we're tired. We miss you and the boys. And I know mom does too.

Julie 11/26/12 5:28 pm good luck. i hope it works really well.

Julie 11/26/12 5:24 pm whew. starting with the big drug.

Mark 11/25/12 1:04 am We here, thanks again for having us!

Mark 11/23/12 12:54 am You should be done and come home.

Brent 11/22/12 9:16 pm Happy thanksgiving. Hope you got stuffed! Ha Brent

Mark 11/22/12 5:55 pm We're at the front door

Mom 11/22/12 9:50 am Thank you. How fun for you all!

Mark 11/20/12 11:24 pm Just got into new jersey. Should be another hour.

Mark 11/20/12 8:00 pm Children are... alive. We're about halfway. Should get there around 1.

Julie 11/13/12 5:48 pm oh bother. i am but verily crying now. just got your card. i love you! Besides all the nice things you said, i don't think i have ever had anyone acknowledge that i struggle with adhd. it is definitely something people sweep aside. friend in person seem too far away :)

Ranita 11/6/12 12:07 pm Ranita Cheruvu, Srinath Chavali

Matthew 11/2/12 11:00 am Power is back on.

Megan M 10/31/12 4:29 pm So glad to hear you are safe. You had so many of us worried. What a way the north east welcomes you on your first year!

Melinda 10/31/12 1:49 pm I was thinking of u, glad everything is ok

Mom 10/31/12 1:21 pm I guess if the school has power the boys would be ok there even if you don't have power.

Mom 10/31/12 11:44 am Wow. Will school be canceled that long? Was Matthew able to make out to Philly?

Jessica S 10/31/12 11:27 am You have been in my prayers these couple days. Been checking facebook. Thanks for the update!

Jenna 10/31/12 11:24 am Hope your power comes on soon! glad to hear all is well otherwise! love you!

Julie 10/31/12 11:23 am Hey Valerie! i am glad you are ok. everyone was worried.

Melissa F 10/31/12 10:00 am Yay! Miss you bunches. When do they think you will have power? Is it cold?

Sharon W 10/31/12 9:46 am I'm SOOO glad you guys made it through safely!!! Sorry about the power though. Are the kids back to school yet?

Matthew 10/31/12 7:11 am Sgt Babb. She said it's ok to charge battery.

Mom 10/31/12 4:26 pm Is Matthew still home too? How many more days does every one expect to be off?

Mom 10/31/12 4:23 pm Have you got any water storage?

Mike 10/31/12 6:51 am Glad to hear it. Hopefully it is done and it's not just the eye.

Mom B 10/31/12 6:47 am That among other things. Nehi got out and was killed but I didn't find him until a week ago (on tues) when he started to smell from under the porch. And also on last tues. someone texted me that he has left two "little cats" in one of my carriers on my porch. Read that 2 - 2 wk old kittens with severe eye infections. Now, granted, Otis found them by the road just down the street and knew their eyes were matted, but they were contagious and in immediate need of vet care, not to mention too young to even lap milk. One died Sunday but the other is getting better in general, but her eyes still look so bad that I wonder if she has sight in them. I have her in isolation in the bathroom. The whole thing smacks of such overwhelming inconsideration. Now, if I had found them, I might possibly have brought them home, but if I had, it would have been my choice. This isn't as though someone had dumped healthy independent kittens on me. I have to seriously wonder if people even think. The pickup's heater also went out but someone at church replaced the switch and fixed it. The week imploded. I will be glad when I get my hot water back.

Mark 10/31/12 6:13 am Does that mean you're for sure coming on Thursday?

Mark 10/31/12 6:09 am Glad everything is okay.Bummer that you didn't make it down here though.

Mom B 10/30/12 6:05 am Good. Glad it isn't too bad. My gas has been out for at least a week. I discovered it out last Tues when I ran a tub of cold bathwater. That was the shortest bath in history. The utility people need to mark the lines and the repair guy is planning to run a new gas line on Thurs. The insurance doesn't cover the repair because the collapsed line is considered normal wear and tear.

Jaclyn 10/30/12 5:59 am Phew! I'm relieved. Thank you for the update!!! Sending prayers and love

Brent 10/30/12 5:40 am That's cool. After about a week we ended up staying with some friends for a week and a half. Hope the river doesn't overflow too bad to get you. Brent

Brent 10/30/12 5:25 am :) yes. We had to use a camp  stove.

Brent 10/30/12 5:22 am Me too. That sucked when we were out for two weeks.

888777 10/30/12 12:28 am NJSP: Levee break Borough of Moonachie Bergen County

Mom 10/29/12 9:17 pm Love you. Be safe will pray for your safety.

Mom 10/29/12 9:15 pm Looks like from the website it is between Chester & Clamont  SW of Philadelphia.

Mom 10/29/12 9:09 pm NY city had shutdown. They said for New Yorkers to stay in their homes if it is safe and not to evacuate - it is too late for that.

Mom 10/29/12 9:06 pm South of Atlantic City, nj

Mark 10/29/12 8:43 pm Good to hear; glad you're safe.

Mark 10/29/12 8:25 pm Hope you're doing okay. Do you still have power?

Mom 10/29/12 3:46 pm How is the weather? Is it pretty windy? I wrecked dads car today but we are ok.

Julie 10/27/12 9:30 pm nobody was a zombie?

Julie 10/27/12 7:16 pm I thought of you today when i watched the 1996 jane eyre. and i am thinking of you now, as i see your dad counting attendance at stake conference

Oh yes, another stressor for me - our living situation. Our lease ends Oct 30 and Matthew's orders end Sept 30th. He failed the PT test due to shin splints so he is flagged and the intended 90 day orders can no longer be given to him until he passes a mid-Oct PT test. He's been going to physical therapy and getting help, but the timing is so tricky. We got a notice from the apartment complex about our lease ending and needing notice by the end of September our intent to renew or by the 1st if we are not. The month to month option is a $300 increase in our rent, though either way our rent will be increasing by $100 if we renew with a 9 - 12 month lease. Since Matthew is flagged, they are going to put him on AT orders for the month of October and then if he passes his PT test they'll give him the 90 day orders which brings us through January. And then what? That's only 4 months - no lease option there. Do we go ahead and sign another 6 month lease? I feel at such a loss. It finally occurred to me today that the answer I seek would come through prayer.  I am ashamed to admit that it took this long to realize that :/

Matthew and Jared climbed Mount Olympus today. It was their intent to summit (meaning make it to the top) but I got a call about 1 pm saying they were really close but Matthew's fear of heights became too much and couldn't go any further so they were heading down. It was after 5 when they were finally off the mountain. I am grateful that I prayed for their safety throughout the day based on their stories (slipping, sliding, chest pains, exhaustion, dehydration).

We all thought they'd be home about 1 pm so Aaron and I spent most of the day waiting, though I finally decided to quit waiting so much and get out of the house about 12:30. We went to KMart and then got 25 cent ice cream cones as a treat. Most of the waiting also involved listening to Gregor the Overlander and the Code of Claw though. We played on the Wii together and then got word J & M were off the mountain and ready to eat. We met them at Burger King for dinner.

It had been the plan to go to Hollywood Connection as a family, but the mountain trek took everything out of them. The unfortunate thing is that the groupon expired today, but the good news is the voucher will pay for them to go on Monday without having to pay out any extra cash. We won't get the value of 45 extra tokens, but at least we can get in for 'free'.

Yesterday felt like a rough day with a very needy Peter. I felt like he was attached and clingy all day, almost like he was suffering from separation anxiety. I wondered if he was effected by my change in diet. He had some really stinky poop but not much of it, then today during sacrament meeting he had a HUGE poopy diaper.

For the most part Peter is in a routine. He wakes up by 9 am and goes back to sleep by 11 and then wakes up sometime in the 1 o-clock hour. He's mostly up the afternoon with some cat naps and then he's ready for pjs by 9. In fact, he gets down right fussy if he isn't. Then he chews on me off and on until 11 when he goes out for the night (usually waking at 2 or 3, 5, and 7).

Last night was an exception to the routine. I took him to the store with me after 9 because he woke up and was inconsolable. We got home about 11 and though I tried to nurse him to sleep, he wouldn't stay asleep and was still fussy/crying loudly. By midnight I could hear the neighbor's tv which meant it was REALLY loud. Matthew said it was probably to drown out Peter's crying :/ Finally about 12:30 I laid him on a pillow and he went out. He didn't wake up again until 5. I guess he really wore himself out! We were all tired :p

This morning he woke up while I was in the shower. Matthew said he changed his diaper and took off his clothes and he was happy with that, but then he put the pjs back on and he got mad. I assume it was b/c I usually get him dressed then. Sundays are his bath days and he was totally content during the whole thing. Usually he cries after I take him out and before he gets dressed, but not today. He was happy up until I left him on the bed (dressed) too long so I could get me ready. He's been back into his usual routine so far the rest of the day.

Today was my first day back at "work" at church. I spent a good part of the morning from 5 on thinking about what I was going to do for singing time. The good news is that I had a head start once I was up but I was tired too. I was feeling the PPD today. I think just yesterday's neediness and the exhaustion has worn on me. Not to mention my spiritual wells are shallow right now.

School starts tomorrow. As much as I have looked forward to being by myself again, I will miss having the extra helpers. I am not looking forward to the regimented schedule either, but it may be a good thing too. We shall see.

Today has been the best day I've had since Peter's birth. It feels good to feel happy and productive.

Peter started smiling last week and this week he is even more free with them. Watching Jared with him is especially heart warming because Jared tries really hard to earn those smiles!

Today was my 6 wk pp check. I ranked an 11 on their pp depression scale (moderately depressed). In two wks I am to re-take the test and call them. I have been concerned that maybe I am on the verge, but it is hard to differentiate exhaustion and depression. I have been massively overeating (one of the things I ranked high on) and the guilt associated with that doesn't help. Though I noticed today that I didn't have the urge to eat nearly as much as I have since I came home from the hospital... The midwife recommended getting out in the sun and being active for at least 20 minutes (ideally an hour) should help and I agree that it probably would make a big difference. Catching up on sleep would as well.

I am working on Peter's birth story, but in the mean time losing out on the daily life. Recovery has gone really well. We were pretty exhausted by the end of last week as we tried to catch up on all our missing hours of sleep. I think we're finally getting there. Most days the house isn't up until well after 10. Today was an exception. I got up at 8:30 to go potty and took Jared too. Matthew got up too. Even Peter was awake and happy. Aaron slept in, but he's always needed a little bit more sleep. Jared was anxious to hold and play with Peter and he got maybe 15-20 minutes in before Peter just wanted to eat. At that point I laid back down with him and fell asleep until about 10:45.

My lochia had pretty much gone away, but yesterday I went with Jared and Matthew up the canyon for a short (very short) but somewhat steep climb to a stream. Although it was doable for me, my body said it was too much and I paid for it in lochia. Today they went again but traded me and Peter for Aaron. I think my body is happier for that choice.

Honestly I feel really great, but my pelvic area is a little sorer than it has been as everything adjusts back into place. I am still taking stool softeners when I remember b/c bms are a pain. I think my tear is closer to that area than the front or up.

Peter is having more and longer awake/alert periods. The boys love him and fight over who gets to hold him. Jared is especially territorial. He has spent many a time in the rocking chair with Peter in one arm and the Kindle in the other. He needs to feel needed and wanted and Peter fills that need well. And walking Domino - a nearby neighbor's dog. Jared doesn't even care if Peter is crying and fussy unless he can't get him to quiet down. Usually he is successful unless Peter really needs to eat.

Aaron has not gotten to hold Peter as much, but he is quicker to hand him off when he gets fussy too. But Peter is very responsive to Aaron's voice and touch too. It is sweet to see them all interact.

Matthew has done a great job running the house - especially meals. It has been fun to watch him with Peter especially. He goes back to work on Friday and he will be sorely missed. It has been really nice having him home.

Holy smokes! Peter's cord fell off tonight. I think that is like a record. I am wondering if it has anything to do with the amount of time before clamping. It was a good 30 minutes or so I think before it was clamped.

Texts from June 30th for record purposes (though many were deleted to make room for in/out msgs):

2:52 am - to M&T "I am in early labor. not sure how to time getting the boys to you"

3:24 am  to Mom and Dad - "Thought you would like to know I am in early labor. We will see if it peters out or not though."

3:44 am tried calling M

3:47 am called midwives
3:50 am midwives returned call. Talked to Jill. Suggested I drop off the boys then come in and get evaluated.

4:40 -42 am tried calling M & T

5:00 am to M&T - "We are headed to the hospital to drop me off then Matthew will try dropping the boys off."

5:45 am from M - "Sorry about that. Good luck!"
5:51 am from T - "I'm sorry. We were out. Good luck with the delivery. Love you."
5:56 am from T in response to my thanks again - "You're welcome. They didn't want to go back to bed so we're just feeding them. Let us know when the baby is born :) We can't wait to meet him."

5:57 am to Mom, Dad, and rest of family - "Little boy decided he couldn't wait one more day. Been admitted. Will let you know when he is here. Turning my phone off now"

7:01 am from Rebecca P - "Good luck. I hope everything goes smoothly."

9:15 am from JB - "Oh Yay! I didn't realize that you were in labor. I am so excited. Let me know how I can help you."

11:36 am to everyone - "Thing 3 was born at 8:10 am and weighed in at 7 lbs 5.6 oz and is 20.5 in long. We are tired but healthy. Pics will be posted on facebook. Unfortunately for Jared, we have another redhead."

11:44 am from Melissa H - "Yay! Congrats momma! I hope it was everything you had hoped! I am sure he is amazing! And he decided to have his own month, just barely!"

11:45 am from Melinda S - "I can't wait to make him smile"

11:49 am from Sharon W - "Yay!!!! Can't wait to see the sweet guy! missing you wish I could give you a hug and him a snuggle!"

12:21 pm from Laralin - "Woohoo! Congratulations! Aww.. poor Jared. But red heads are awesome. Can hardly wait to see pics. Love you! And he made it in June, barely. but he made it. :D"

1:05 pm from Jenna - "Wow, that was quick! So happy for you guys! Love you!"
1:45 pm from me to Jenna - "It was very quick! I ended up squatting him out on the edge of the rocking chair!"
1:50 pm from me to Jenna - "Yeah. The midwife barely got there in time. Overall a great experience."
4:03 pm from Jenna - So glad you are happy overall. You worked hard to find something you would be happy with."

about 6:30pm M&T brought the boys for a visit.

July 1st

8:50 am from Rachael B - "I'm so happy for you!  Still a June baby but on his time! So funny. Hugs doll!

9:10 am from Rachael B -"Yes. Vacationing in Cape Cod now. Enjoying the family. Work is busy. They want to promote me again. Which is good but stressful. :) I see UT is treating you well :)"

from Rachael B - "We miss you too."

9:25 is convo with Tran about Matthew going to pick the boys up. About this time Rebecca came to visit as Matthew headed out the door. She stayed until about 10:30.

12:30 ish Matthew came back with the boys.

1:30 ish Julie came with her boys to visit and left about 3:30 ish.

6:15 pm ish the Matthew and boys came for dinner and we had Peter's birthday party.
11 pm Matthew and boys went home

3:30 am - finally started timing contractions. Since 3:04 have been about 5 min apart. Matthew has gotten dressed and is running on adrenaline. I've texted M & T and Mom and Dad. My guess is that no one has seen the txts though. I will probably call the midwives soon to see what they think. It is a tricky balance between too early and too late since I need the antibiotics. My bloody show has gone from brown to pink. I just ate a pancake and some cheese b/c I was hungry too. Both boys have been pottied so they'll be ready to go when we make the final call.

1:40 am - been contracting since about 11 or so. I vacuumed the floor and did the dishes. I discovered that moving through them is really helpful for tolerating them. I laid down in bed about 12:30 and then they seem to come in quicker intervals. It is all cervix so some of them have been really sharp. I didn't think that much time had passed, but was surprised to see it was 1:30 when I looked at the clock. I decided to go to the bathroom and make sure I stay hydrated. I even feel a bit hungry. More obvious bloody show/plug came out.

Now that I am not laying down the pains aren't as sharp. It may be a long night. My biggest concern is timing for getting the boys to where they need to be and me to the hospital. It is still too early to take them, but I wonder if I should even put M & T on notice.

6:40 pm - just went to the bathroom and I think I have lost a good part of my plug. Still not a lot of contractions, but just an overall feeling of crampiness,

I am excited!! This baby is going to come this week!!

The other night I slept poorly b/c I was feeling crampy all night. I think that was Thurs or Friday.

Friday night I walked and walked b/c I didn't want to stop but finally had to after 45 minutes b/c I had to go to the bathroom. It took about 30 minutes before I had my first contraction. That night I started feeling more pressure on my cervix from the baby's movements, but I am pretty sure he still hasn't changed position. I am resigning myself to the fact I may have a back labor kind of experience though I will continue to try and get him to flip over. I am really hoping that he'll move in labor if he doesn't before then.

Yesterday Aaron and I spent about 2 hours walking around the Tracy Aviary. I felt pretty good afterwards, but I was tired by 10:30. This morning I got up to potty around 4 and when I got back in bed I started having contractions. They weren't close together but they were through my back and baby would get really active. I decided to try going hands and knees through them and while he was active to see if it would make a difference. I couldn't really tell. Finally about 7 I fell back into a restful sleep. When I got up at 9 to shower and get ready for church I had my first sign of bloody show!! WOOHOO!! I think the discomfort this morning was actually productive! I've been seeing cm, but it has been clear. This was just a little bit brown. It certainly wasn't my plug in its entirety, but my guess is that if I hadn't been dilating before I am a little bit now.

I can feel I am getting closer. This morning I feel crampy though no actual contractions. Yesterday I put our bags in the car just in case something happened while we were on our outing. I need to grab some essentials, but the bags are pretty much ready. We'll see what happens as the day progresses.

Matthew came home from work today with the news that he may be deployed to Kuwait next month for a year.

We've been going on a walk in the evenings every day now since Thurs or Friday. It is nice to be active again. Matthew is really hoping it kicks me into labor b/c he's tired of going to work. I do end up with some contractions in the process, but nothing big. Sunday I was having a lot of the menstrual type cramping and thought maybe it would turn into labor by the middle of the night but once I laid down my body calmed down. I think I may have woken up this morning from a contraction but once I got up and went to the bathroom I went back to sleep with no problem.

Yesterday I woke up about 6:30 and couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and showered then worked around the house for the rest of the morning. It was nice that Jared was up too so we were able to hit a 10:30 showing of Rio 2. We actually had a decent schedule kind of day. We were able to have dinner about 6 and then headed up to Sugarhouse for Yogurtland and a trip to Liberty Park. I didn't do as much walking as we have been b/c the boys spent a bit of time on the playground. By the time we were headed to the car my body decided it was contraction time but they petered out by the end of the evening.

I realized as I was getting ready for bed I couldn't remember the last time Baby had moved. This morning he is kicking me in my left ribs and has hiccups so I think he is ok in there. I think I was just busy and didn't notice his movement - plus the contractions kind of overshadow him.

Tomorrow is my dr's appt. I plan on calling someone from church to see if she can watch the boys for me in case the midwife wants to do a check. I am kind of curious myself if I am dialated and by how much.

I think my body is gearing up. I've had more contractions today than I have the past week - not to say that is even very many, but yesterday I started feeling a little different. I'm feeling more wet and today even wetter and more mucus is coming out. I think my plug is working its way out. I am hoping that means I am dilating and won't be spending a lot of time in early labor with a broken water sac. Baby is still in the same position though so he hasn't decided to actually go anywhere yet. I feel like I need to make sure all my ducks really are in a row though, so I txted M & T to make sure they were still willing to take the boys. I haven't heard back yet.

Matthew has been talking all week about taking me to the hospital this weekend, but wanted to teach his Sunday School lesson too so I was to either have the baby early enough in the weekend he could leave me and teach or wait until the lesson was done and then take me. On one hand I feel like we could go tonight and on the other I feel like it could still be another week. ALL of my pregnancies have ended on the weekend, so if I go on a weekday, that would be just weird. I have two different friends in town this week too, so I would love to be able to see them at least.

Over the last week I have felt ready. Ready to face the labor and delivery, which is totally opposite of how I've felt over the last couple of months. I have tried to channel the feelings of calm and 'down to business' when I've miscarried. I am hoping that will enable my body to work quicker and more efficiently. We shall see though.

I feel pretty good for being this far along (39 wks today). In fact, over the last week I have been more active than I have for awhile. I've ridden Matthew's bike a couple of days in a row and then we've gone on walks as a family in the evening. Perhaps that has something to do with feeling more crampy and wet today, but I don't know.

All of my projects are done. The only thing left is to wrap gifts for all the boys.

Oh yes, the subject of names came up again yesterday and I felt the timing was right to take the opportunity to mention using my maiden name as a middle name. Matthew surprised me by saying he was ok with that. End of discussion. So, I think we have a name!

Normally on Sundays both Matthew and I crash. We tried hard not to today though and ended up spending most of the afternoon/evening playing with the bean bags I made for the boys. In fact, we spent HOURS doing it before we called it quits. I think it has been a really good way to spend our last day as a family of four if that is how it turns out.

Weight went down a notch (203.2 vs 203.6) and my blood pressure went up (120 vs 100). Got a quick ultrasound since the boys were there and a cervix check would have been a bit awkward. Kind of a nice bonus for having to wait about 45 minutes for the midwife, but I kind of would have liked a cervix check to see if I've dilated at all at this point. Oh well. Baby is head down, but sunnyside up. I am betting the rolling I felt last week after I thought I'd dropped was him flipping over :/ He needs to turn back over, though delivering this way is better than breech. I was hoping that since I'll be on antibiotics anyway that I could go longer between water break and induction, but turns out it will be shorter. *crossing my fingers* my pattern changes with this one and my water doesn't break until I'm in later labor so I don't have to be put on the clock and sitting at the hospital waiting for my body to kick into gear.

I really haven't had much in the way of contractions this week. I did finally feel one this morning, but that's pretty much it. I am wondering if the way he's laying has anything to do with it. I can't quite figure out how his butt can be sticking up and his face at the same time. *shrug* He was pursing his lips in the u/s. Cute. Aaron got to hold the doppler while we listened to the heartbeat and read off the numbers. He was in the 126 - 133 range. My heart rate was up and his was down...

This weekend has felt like "the" weekend, but if it doesn't, I think it will be July. I think he is too cozy up there. I don't mind either way. I finally have some energy and drive to be out and active with the boys and not focused on 'projects' that I am enjoying this time right now. I don't feel in a rush except for the wonder of when.

I've decided that waiting to go into labor is a lot like waiting to find out if your pg, except with that at least you have an end date. Over the last few days/weeks I've felt wet and crampy like right before my period comes but come out dry just like when I am waiting for AF and end up pg. I don't recall feeling this anxious with Jared and certainly not with Aaron. I am only 38 wks so it isn't like I am past due or anything. He is high and tight. I am trying to enjoy this time with just us but I am feeling ready to face labor too.

Yesterday was my 37 wk appt. I clarified some things about being GBS +. If my water breaks in early labor, I will need to go in early again to start antibiotics. If they don't get all the antibiotics in, it isn't a big deal. They will just keep baby an extra day for observation. I asked about checking my iron level now as opposed to in the hospital but she said since I'll be getting an IV anyway, they might as well do it then instead of a poke now and a poke later.

Today is Friday the 13th. I had kind of hoped for a 13th delivery date to match the pattern we have going, but I don't think it will happen. I really haven't had much by way of contractions since ... Monday or so? I think if I'd pushed it with activity maybe something would have come of it. At this point I am thinking we'll have a July baby. We'll see though. In theory I could make it to July 13th. The irony of that is he'd be two wks late and 9 days before Aaron's birthday. Aaron was two(ish) weeks early and is 9 days from Jared.

Monday I ended up not going back to bed until midnight. I thought I would crash and burn but it never happened. I managed to finish the blanket I was working on and then started making fabric blocks. Tuesday I was a little bit tired but felt ready. I did a few more projects for Melissa, but by Wed night I was done. Done. Done. Done. I felt exhausted and little motivation to do anything else. I probably ought to go ahead and pack my fabric away because it does not call to me anymore. If we had a couch I would lay on it and watch tv.

The boys - especially Jared - are happy that I am done with 'projects' because that frees me up for spending time with them. I have been so tired the last few days though that it is a different kind of challenge. We did run errands yesterday though since I had a dr's appt and threw some fun stops in there as well.

Matthew is off today so he took Jared to go climb a mountain as well as run some other errands.

Aaron hasn't been feeling well for a week now, so I managed to get him in to the dr this morning. Turns out he has pneumonia. My guess is that it is left over from when he was sick two weeks ago. We're on a round of antibiotics and hopefully that will take care of it. Though I was surprised at the diagnosis, I am relieved it isn't something contagious. Both he and Matthew were sick at the same time and then got sick again. Matthew's appt isn't until next Wed but he thinks he is at the tail end of it. I just want our house to be a healthy place before baby comes.

It is almost 3:30 am. I've been awake since 2 something. The room was hot. Matthew isn't feeling well and I just couldn't sleep. Yesterday packing bags felt like a really big priority. The boys' are all ready and mine is mostly done. I think my last minute grabs list is as long as my packed items. I was actually having quite a few contractions in the process. One felt like a REAL one - pressure all the way down and not just across the top of me uterus. They all stopped after awhile. I made a list of things I want to get done around the house tomorrow/today. I've debated whether I wanted to work on them now while I am up or sew. Instead I've been on the computer.

Had my 36 wk appt yesterday. I was a little bummed b/c I came out GBS positive :/ Not a great way to start my unmedicated birth. I have to get antibiotics as soon as I go in to labor. *sigh* Oh well. Little boy seems to be doing well though. His heartbeat seemed a little lower yesterday, but still in good range. Last week I weighed 201 and yesterday 202.6. I've eaten a LOT of junk (cake) all week.

My feet have been really swollen since last Thursday. They've gotten so bad my legs and feet tingle. It has been really hot and I've not been drinking enough water. It's gotten a bit uncomfortable. Part of it is because I've been sitting at the sewing machine a lot this week too.

I've been working on a blanket for Melissa's baby. I wanted to use up my fabric but ended up buying some anyway. I'd love to hurry and get it finished, but we'll see how long my motivation runs.

The boys are out of school now. I am trying to channel last summer's fun, but am struggling.

The nesting bug hit pretty hard yesterday. I woke up about 5:00 to potty then laid in bed for a little bit before deciding my mind was too awake, plus I had the energy and desire to get some things done. I finished organizing my food shelf and managed to go through a few more boxes taking up space. By the time it was late enough to get the boys up for school I was feeling tired. I went to the bedroom to take a nap after dropping them off but once I sat down my mind was going again and I hit a second wind. I did laundry and vacuumed, put down the vinyl, cleaned bathrooms. At one point I started turning circles b/c I wasn't sure where I wanted to start. It was Friday which meant early release. By then I was really tired and ended up crashing soon after. Once my nap was over I was back in nesting mode.

Two things on my priority list were to put the car seat in the van and pack my bag. By the time we sat down for dinner I still hadn't done them, but a storm was coming and I just had the overwhelming sense of urgency so I got the carseat in. I still haven't got my bag packed, though I did at least get a list printed out to give me some direction. I did the online pre-registration for the hospital though someone has to go over it and call me back which means it will probably happen Monday. This morning I filled out my birth plan and consent form for water birth.

By the time I went to bed I was having a lot of contractions and I wondered if my urgency was related. I think I was just tired and overworked though because they petered out. I haven't had very many today. My right foot has been swollen since Thurs which I find kind of odd. I also have that wet pre-AF feel but I am dry. I figure if my plug comes out then we're really getting close.

Part of me feels ridiculous for being so paranoid when I am just barely 36 wks tomorrow, but I'd rather be prepared and go late than go early and be caught off guard.

I met my co-chorister today when we went to clean the church. The only Sunday she'll be here in June is the 15th. I told her that's what I'm aiming for, but we'll see what happens.

-move totes, nightstand, drawers
-vacuum bedroom
-clean co-sleeper (wipe down and wash cover)
-set up bassinet/co-sleeper
-sort and wash baby clothes
-get rocking chair
-move winter clothes to storage
-call midwives and schedule appt

I have been busy getting everything ready. Tomorrow is my appt with the midwives closest to us. All my concerns for an early labor have seem to dissipate and I feel more like I will be in for the long haul now. Baby is getting big though and has adjusted his position so that his feet are in my left rib cage instead of right in the center. Unfortunately that means  a lot of times he'll hit a nerve that effects my right hip. It's weird. The other day I seriously felt his toes in my side. It was the weirdest and coolest thing.

For the most part I've felt comfortable and at ease with the fact I'll be having a hospital birth. Today I went to WalMart and got some wipes and diapers. There was a really strong sterile smell that triggered hospital memories and the panicky feeling kind of set in again. 

I have realized that there is a part of me in denial about the fact there will be a baby in our home soon and all that it entails. I have been afraid to enjoy it because I sealed my heart and emotions up from loss. The other day I washed and sorted the clothes and picked out the ones that will go to the hospital. Aaron was with me on the bed and helped pick them out too. All of a sudden touching the clothes and remembering Jared and Aaron helped me imagine this little one in them and then it became real. I actually got excited about holding him. 

We do not have a name officially, but I think he will be called Peter. It feels right. I would like his middle name to be my maiden name b/c there is only one boy in the family to carry on that name and odds are he won't have children of his own in which case my family's name will hit a dead end. I'd like it to be carried on if possible. I haven't mentioned it to Matthew because I don't think he'll like the idea, but I suppose I am going to have to broach the topic at some point :)

I have turned my attention to sewing instead of cleaning or organizing. I've made a couple of burp cloths, pinned a blanket and cut out a boppy cover. I didn't have the right color threads for the blanket or cover so I took care of that while at WM. I happened to find a boppy cover on clearance that included a waterproof cover so I went ahead and bought it even though I am making one. Our pillow got really nasty from us sleeping on it, so I think it is worth the extra to get a protective cover for it too. 

I am tired today, but it could be from the shopping I did. Monday we went to the Little Cottonwood Canyon and did the Temple Quarry Trail and a little bit of the other trail. It was really interesting to see the scars on the rocks from 100 years ago still present. I did pretty well on the pavement, but once we got on the rocky trail my hips started bothering me and baby was sitting on my bladder so we really didn't make it very far on the LCTrail. We went swimming when we got home and though it was enjoyable, my left side ended up feeling kinked like my right side had been. It was nice to be able to walk normally for awhile again. 

Everyone seems to be taking turns getting sick. Aaron stayed home from school Thurs and Fri because of a fever. He had a terrible headache too and his throat hurt. Jared had a sore throat as well with a cough, but no fever so he's not missed school yet. I think he's had croup so we've been giving him ibuprofen at night and some allergy medicine in case it is allergy related. He has been extra tired during the day, but I think he is on the healing side of it. Then yesterday Matthew mentioned his throat was starting to hurt and he was having a hard time getting his temp right - too cold or too hot. And this morning he had a really bad headache. I think he had what Aaron had :(  I just hope we get these germs done with before baby comes.

Time is passing so quickly. It is hard to believe we are already half way done with this week. 35 wks 4 days today.... I think no matter when baby comes it will seem like it came quickly.

Either the root beer float gave me an energy boost or I was struck by the nesting bug. I washed towels and the boys' sheets today, so when the boys were sent to bed I stood in the hall and folded laundry. Granted the bathrooms have been bothering me, but instead of ignoring it as usual I went ahead and cleaned them. If it weren't for the fact the boys were supposed to be going to sleep I would have vacuumed my room and rearranged stuff to make room for the co-sleeper I pulled out today.

It has been bothering me that I didn't know where the bags with the sheets for the co-sleeper were. I opened boxes in the boys' rooms and finally concluded they had to be in the storage unit. I stopped there before picking the boys up from school. I finally found them in one of the kitchen boxes - pampered chef box which is now pretty much empty :/ But I can finally put that worry to rest. yay! One less thing for my mind to dwell on in the middle of the night. Now if only I knew what I should say in my talk on Sunday....

I met with the last midwife group today and now I need to make a decision. I feel inclined to go with the ones closest to us though the idea of a group of 9 midwives and only 6 weeks to go isn't a happy thought. But I feel like it is the right place for me, so I will put my trust in my feelings. I was set apart on Sunday as the Primary Chorister and at the end of the blessing, the topic changed to address the upcoming birth. I was blessed that my body would function and all would be well. I'm holding on to that hope :) I have been feeling quite a bit of anxiety - several times triggered at the sight of a hospital bed :/

I was pleased today that the midwife listened to the baby's heart and did a basic exam. She didn't measure me, but it was still a relief to have some sort of check up since the last one was at 29 weeks and now I am 34. She said everything sounds good :) I did like her a lot, but she will be on call for 4 weeks straight the month of June. She will be one tired midwife when I go in!

Anyway, I wanted to make a list of things I'd like to get done tomorrow if possible:

-move totes, nightstand, drawers
-vacuum bedroom
-clean co-sleeper (wipe down and wash cover)
-set up bassinet/co-sleeper
-sort and wash baby clothes
-get rocking chair
-move winter clothes to storage
-call midwives and schedule appt

Last night as the winds swirled outside, the phrase 'whirlwind adventure' came coming to mind as I thought about the possibility of a 6 mo PCS to UT in our very near future. So many unanswered questions and not a lot of time to figure it all out.

In other news, I finally announced on FB about being pregnant. I am not sure if sharing my blog post about it was the right decision but it is done.

We went and toured the hospital Tuesday night. The boys behaved pretty well. I was pleased :) The next day I asked them what they thought of the experience and Jared said, Lucky. Another voiced opinion was excited. I think it made it more real for them - at least for Jared because up until yesterday he really didn't seem to show much interest in the baby. I was laying on the couch and Jared was working on homework at the computer. Baby was bumping around and I called Aaron over to feel. Jared came too. Baby quieted down again but Jared waited there awhile. I told him that he could talk to the baby. He wasn't quite sure what to say and I could tell he felt akward and embarrassed. Finally I sent him away and told him I'd call him back over if he started moving again. Turns out that every time I sat up he'd move. About the same time as discovering this, Jared had turned on his band music to listen to while he worked. Soon I called him over and he was able to feel this little one a couple of times. I'm glad he got to experience that :)

As for my feelings about the hospital tour, well... it is a great facility. But I felt uncomfortable there and it kind of solidified my feelings about a home birth. I think I finally figured out why. At my appt with the midwife last week I discussed Matthew's concerns about a homebirth. She assured me that most calls to transfer to the hospital happen early enough that can be done calmly. If it really is an emergency transfer than they call the closest hospital to have them prep the OR. But even in a hospital it takes 30 minutes to prep for a C-Section which would be our travel time. One of the reasons for transfer would be failure to progress, so I shared with her my previous birth experiences and wondered how that would be weighed. We discussed it and she said it is possible that I petered out because I was disrupted and distracted by the transition to the hospital. Another possibility is that I am just one of those women who has a really long early labor, but the fact that my water broke put me on a clock. It might be a different experience staying home.

As we went through the hospital and the more our guide talked, I thought about the conversation with the midwife and my experience with the miscarriages and realized I really liked being at home and doing my own thing. That night Matthew asked me what I thought and I shared with him this conclusion and I think he got it. In the morning I told him that I felt very uncomfortable delivering in the hospital and that it wasn't the place for me. He joked that maybe that had something to do with moving to UT :)

I feel very torn about the move. I want to go as a family, but I don't want to take Jared away from band and the research I've done for midwives makes me feel anxious and upset. The highly recommended ones take very few clients and even less insurance. I'd have to pay out of pocket. With the fact that most of my pgcy is over, I'd hope they would pro-rate it. My next appt is April 1st and is in conjunction with my big blood draw and testing. Really the only expenses left should be the final visits, birth, and postpartum. I talked to Mom yesterday to find out if she'd be willing to come and stay with us in June if Matthew goes by himself. She is willing. In some ways I think that'd be the easiest option, but I also don't necessarily feel like that is the best option.

Friday night or Saturday morning I was praying about it, and the thought that came immediately to mind was that we will go and everything will turn out fine. I felt much more at peace at that point and decided to quit researching and wait for orders and answers to all our questions. We spent Saturday evening emptying out the storage unit. Jared and I were alone in the van so I talked to him about the situation and how he felt about it. He said he thinks we'll go, but he'd prefer not to say why. He recognizes that there are pros and cons to the move. The biggest pro is that the Blacks are there, though we'd still be a good enough distance away that we still probably wouldn't see each other as much as we'd like. Although with summer's free schedule, maybe we would.

On Sunday the topic for Sacrament mtg was the Atonement. The sister spoke about using the Atonement for its ENABLING power, not just its healing power. The final speakers shared his recent experience regarding losing his job and finding new employment. He recounted the move to get him here and shared that two weeks before they were to come, the apartment complex contacted them and denied their application. After scrambling they found another one and discovered another member family in the complex whom they became really great friends with. At one point they shared their experience with the denied application and the family responded that they know why it happened. They had been praying for a family to move in that they could be friends with. Basically they had prayed this family to that apartment. His point was that sometimes our trials are an answer to another's prayers. The closing song was I'll Go Where You Want me to Go. I looked at Matthew and laughed. It seemed the talks and song for that morning were meant for us.

As I've thought about the growth and realizations from reading the Book of Mormon over the last 40 days, I try to draw on the same strength that Nephi had. He trusted the Lord and was willing to do whatever was asked because the Lord would see him through it. I need that kind of faith too. Yes it scary and overwhelming, but it will all work together for our good.

Ouch pretty much sums it up.

I did yoga two days in a row last week and felt great. I didn't do it yesterday and today I am sore. I did do it today though, but for whatever reason every step hurt. Well, every step after running from the truck to the train, sitting on the train for 90 minutes then taking the subway.

We met Mike in NY for dinner tonight. The longest excursion for a dinner you ever experienced! We left the house about 4:15 and finally met him at the pizzeria a little before 7. We got home at midnight. Man tomorrow is going to be rough.

Ever since Sunday after church, I have had a lot of pain. I don't know if it is round ligament or sciatic but either way it makes walking quite a chore. I have found sitting in chairs for long periods of time aggravates it. It is like I hit 22 wks and all hell broke loose on my body :p

Tonight I read the blurb for 22 wks and watched the video with the boys. When I showed them a visual of what 11 inches looked like, Jared asked me why I wasn't fat yet. I laughed and said I am! But he insisted I am not. That is nice. I've been looking at the pics I've been taking since week 16 and there is definitely a difference - especially this last week.

While I was laying down on Jared's bed reading, baby started moving around enough that I could feel him so I had Jared put his hand there too. Baby bumped him twice but Jared couldn't distinguish it from my breathing. Soon he will though I am sure. Baby is getting bigger and stronger. I can feel his movements pretty regularly on the outside now.

By the time church was over today I was having a really hard time walking. I am not sure if it was the positions I was standing in or the shoes I was wearing or what. But I have enjoyed laying down immensely today b/c it meant being pain-free. I hope this isn't going to be a regular occurrence b/c it is pretty miserable to feel like your leg is going to give out from under you.

Yesterday was the first time I tried to wear my maternity pants without a belly band. They stayed up without problem. I am definitely filling out but b/c I carry low and am still wearing jackets, it is still hard to tell if I am pregnant or just frumpy.

I think it was Friday or Saturday when Matthew and I both agreed I finally look pregnant. Sunday I wore a maternity skirt and the maternity shirt I got from MH a long time ago, but I must say I did not look like a cute pregnant girl. Just fat. I think if I want to be a cute pg girl I am going to have to get a little bit more fit and wear different clothes that accentuate the belly and not hide it.

I just spent the last hour shoveling the sidewalk and driveway while Matthew took my parents to the airport. It is always an easier task when the cars are out of the way. Yesterday Dad and Matthew cleared a path to the cars and a little bit off the van. We had another 2 or 3 inches fall last night on top of the 8 + inches we got yesterday and the night before. It was an odd feeling to walk out the door this morning and think, wow it's warm out here! The van registered at 32 degrees so the snow was fairly soft and starting to melt. I was mostly a bum yesterday and didn't venture out once. I feel like I made up for it this morning though.

Mom and I have been working on the baby's quilt. We decided on a pattern and bought fabric for it Tues. We were going to start cutting the material yesterday when I found another pattern that we both really liked that would have looked great with the material as well and we had enough to choose. I ended up spending pretty much the ENTIRE day playing with different combinations trying to figure out what would look best and what I liked best. We boiled it down to these two:

Sherbet Parfait with 9 patch (colors are dark green, blue with gold dots, floral blue from the large triangles, beige, paisley from the large block, mustard, light green, grey, and a teal, black and gold swirl)

Sherbet Parfait with basket weave (colors are purple, green, mustard, and light blue)

We like them both. Jared voted for the basket weave and Aaron & Dad for the 9 patch. I feel like the basket weave is more serene, but I miss the purple in it. I put it on FB and the 9 patch is getting the most votes.

Last night Aaron was really cute. Somehow we started talking about whether the baby was awake or asleep. I told him that the baby must be sleeping b/c I couldn't feel him, but it was possible I just wasn't feeling him move since the other day we were watching him move but I couldn't feel any of it. So Aaron start pushing on my belly and telling the baby to wake up. Sure enough, he started getting really wiggily. That made Aaron happy and he put his hand on my belly. Baby started pushing right there though I don't think he could feel it. Then when the boys were in bed and I went to hug and kiss Aaron, he hugged my belly and said good night to the baby too :D So sweet!!

As Aaron and I were talking about feeling the baby earlier, Jared perked up and was excited to know I could feel him. I only get tidbits of his feelings about the baby. Mostly he seems ambivalent about it but every once in while I get a glimpse of interest and excitement. It was nice to see him seem to perk up at the thought that he could feel the baby move.

I've been trying to think of boy names now and not coming up with much. I liked Hyrum and Peter. I ran them by Matthew yesterday and he immediately shot down Hyrum. I kind of liked that one though. He didn't say anything about Peter until I suggested that meant it was ok. So I guess neither are a 'go.'

The Ys are strong in my family

So last night was the BIG night. Mom and Dad flew in on Saturday and we spent the rest of the day walking around NY. Sunday we went to church and recuperated. Monday Mom and I looked at quilt patterns and breezed through fabrics - all the while thinking baby girl thoughts. Even Dad had taken to referring to the baby as 'she'. Aaron would correct him and say, We don't whether the baby is a boy or girl.

Matthew was stuck in traffic so he wasn't sure he'd make it to the appt on time. The place was running late so it worked out fine - except for the very full bladder I was accumulating :D He walked in just as I left to the back but they were kind enough to walk him to my room. Our technician was very nice and we enjoyed her very much. She said some techs are very particular and don't even let the husbands in, but she doesn't care. Apparently the full bladder is needed to measure the cervix, so she did that real 'quick' and let me get relief. Then we got to the fun stuff. She tried for a bottom shot but baby was feet down and the umbilical cord was between the legs so she couldn't get a clear reading. Sometimes she thought boy, sometimes girl. But overall, baby was very cooperative and she was able to get all the shots she needed except for the heart, face and legs. Baby was flipping around a few times, but I was surprised to not be able to feel any of it. We even caught hiccups at one point but not a peep from my nerves. My placenta is posterior and the cerebellum measured right at 20w0d - only a day off. Not bad at all. After about 45 minutes or so she said to go empty my bladder and walk around to see if we can get baby to flip to a position where she could get the final readings she needed. Baby had curled down into a ball near my bladder and she couldn't get what she needed. So, I went to go join everyone in the waiting room. Matthew went on home so he could get some food.

Mom was feeling sick at this point and had been in the bathroom several times already :( Dad had had a stomach bug days before coming, so it finally caught up to Mom. I headed back on back and the kind staff brought everyone to the room when Mom was available. Baby was quite cooperative at that point and showed everything we needed to know - including the gender shot. I have to admit I felt a physical shock and wave of disappointment when I saw very clearly we were having another boy. I thought for sure 'she was coming' this time, but alas. It is hard to wrap my brain around the idea of another boy but it will come. I found out the gender before everyone got in, so it was kind of nice to know for myself first though it probably would have been fun for the boys to be there at the same time. Although the tech was in a time crunch, she obligingly spent a little extra time with the u/s so we could see baby move around. We saw him yawn a few times, wave his hands... it was cute. She printed off some pictures and away we went.

I couldn't tell how Matthew felt about the news. The only real response I've gotten is that he was sorry he disappointed me. It isn't like he really has any conscious control over the baby's gender!

Mom and I spent today figuring out quilt stuff. I think we found some great fabric. Though I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around the concept of another boy, focusing on fabric has actually helped a little. I think his quilt is going to be really pretty. It's teals/blue, beige and green.

Monday we got a lot of snow - about 5 - 6 inches at least. About one in the afternoon I went out and started shoveling. The snow plow had dumped a huge pile at the end of our driveway which made the task even more daunting. I had just cleared our walkway to the door and a strip of the driveway when a couple of high school boys walked by and asked if I wanted help. I am so grateful to these angels! With their help everything was cleared away pretty quickly. Even so, I was still sore and barely about to walk the rest of the day and yesterday. My round ligaments were all out of whack. I told Matthew that probably shoveling needs to be cut to a bare minimum, but I still had to dig my car out yesterday morning. It took 45 minutes :p And more snow is on its way.

I had an appt yesterday. The midwife didn't seem thrilled at the idea of me shoveling either. She suggested I have the boys do it, and usually Jared is happy to help. He was working hard on homework at the time. Maybe we need to invest in a second shovel at least so more than one person can work at a time.

Soreness and shoveling aside, everything seems to be going well. I am measuring at my belly button now and the baby's heart was on the right side today instead of the left where it's been every other time. I've gained 3 pounds.

My tongue wants to get loose with the info. I keep telling myself I can wait a few more days. No big deal. But at the rate this weather is going, my appt on Monday might not happen :(

I suppose it is about time I did an update. There is no doubt that I am feeling baby move now - usually it is once I get stretched out. The other night Matthew put his hand on my belly as we were laying down to go to sleep and right away I started feeling movement. I didn't tell him at the time, but my thought was to mention that baby was saying hi. There was another time Matthew put his hand on my belly and the baby responded with movement. I finally did let Matthew know and he was then kind of afraid to put 'pressure' there though I don't think that was the problem at all.

Aaron has started patting and hugging my belly and saying hi to the baby. It is so cute :) I love it! Jared seems kind of oblivious to the whole thing, but I know he is hoping for a sister.

I asked the boys what they thought of the name Emily and they liked that choice. Matthew on his own told me what he thought was interesting the night we had our discussion. It turns out that he was thinking about how he doesn't like compound names (like Laelynn or RoseMary). When I said Emily right after mentioning the name Emma, he realized Emily could be a compound name (EmmaLee) but it didn't ilicit the aversion response and that was what he found interesting. I told him that as I have thought about names and looked at names, Emily is the only one that seems like it fits into our family. I am heavily leaning on that name, but as Matthew said before, we better make sure it's a girl ;)

I am probably setting myself up for a major disappointment, but every thought is girl-focused. The quilt fabrics, the clothes, the names... but interestingly whenever Aaron is interacting with the baby, I refer to the baby as 'he'. So, we'll see. Our ultrasound is Feb 10th at 6 pm!

Now that I can feel the baby move and it is becoming more of a reality, I am getting more and more anxious to say something on facebook. I told my visiting teachers yesterday when they came to visit. I am about to upload a bunch of pictures on FB too. I had planned on not posting the one of the Christmas presents showing Aaron's book "I am a Big Brother" but at this point I think I will go ahead and post and see who actually notices. I was watching the video of him reading his book and it is so darn cute! Unfortunately it got really annoying from the sound coming and out (sputtering) and I turned it off. I noticed as I was recording the light going off and on, but I didn't think it would affect the sound. It may have been my computer needing restarted too, but I don't know. The other complaint is that the video is sideways :/ Kind of annoying, but oh well.

Thurs night was bookclub and on my way I think I felt baby. I had this rolling on my left side that happened just once, but it was what I remember babies feeling like. S/he must have hit just the right spot to be felt b/c I haven't felt anything like it sense. However during this last week I feel kind of tingly and jiggly in my tummy. I don't think it will be long now before I'll be feeling baby more clearly.

Matthew and I were talking the other night about names - he even brought it up :) He said he'd been thinking of names that fit our pattern (which he said was an 'are' in the middle) and the only one he could come up with was Karen. We agreed we didn't like that one. Our pattern was really that it had to be 5 letters so we could sing the BINGO song - though we change the lyrics to be a 'boy we love very much'. He had forgotten about that and thought it rather silly. I told him about Laelynn and I was right about him not liking it. Then I suggested Emma. He said that didn't fit the five letter pattern either, and I thought of Emily b/c it does have 5 letters. His response was 'Interesting. Very interesting." He wouldn't comment further and that was the end of the conversation :/ I really want to know what he was thinking and if it at least was a good or bad kind of interesting. I kind of like Emily. I think it would go well in our group and at least here in NJ there aren't a lot of them. It's kind of classic and you can do a lot nickname wise.

At one point Matthew asked why we were only discussing girl names (which ironically was the one name he could come up with too). I told him b/c I was hoping for one. I think our shared sentiment is that we don't really know what to do with a girl and girls are full of drama (not that our boys aren't, but girls are different for sure).

I looked up the radiology clinic that I am going to for the ultrasound. There are several locations to choose from and one has a 3D/4D machine. This will be my one u/s so I am wondering if I should go for it or just a regular one. I kind of like the idea of the black and white traditional one. I think it is cool to see the profile and wonder. I still look at Aaron's profile and feel wonder at how much he looked like that in utero. And I kind of think the 3D ones are weird looking, but it would be cool too. I don't know that one is necessarily better than another when it comes right down to it though. The other advantage this place has is that appt starts at 7:30 am and end at 8 pm so there'd be a much better chance that Matthew could go.

Did I mention that time is flying?!?!

I did day 1 of the 10 min bootcamp video from sparkpeople today. I didn't get to use the excuse of showering before the boys left for school so I took advantage of it. I have a lot of work to do to get myself back into shape.

I had an appt today to help a sister I visit teach take down her Christmas decorations. We did it in about an hour and then her daughter showed up. We had a really nice visit. She kept asking about having more kids though and so I eventually told them I am already expecting. They are the first to know in this area. It is weird to talk about it outside of family.

I started looking up names today. I remembered a prayer discussion I had when I was pregnant last time about needing to exercise prudence so the child is not spoiled. I liked the idea of Prudence as a name. I tried to find a name that means prudence, but didn't come up with anything. Instead I followed a few other leads for other means and found one that just brought me to tears every time I read it: Laelynn which means 'flower of hope'. Truly this baby is a flower of hope - especially if it is a girl. I don't think Matthew would go for it though. I don't think it is traditional enough for him. I also liked Emma and couldn't remember why I wanted to stay away from it before. I think it was because there was an Emma born "recently" in San Antonio. Rebekah was always a name I'd planned on using, but it just doesn't fit anymore. When I told the boys I was thinking about names today, Aaron told me was thinking of the name Shark. HA!

Today I am 16 weeks. This last week flew by and I am realizing that time will just continue to fly - especially as I look ahead at the calendar and all the things that will keep us busy until it will be June before we know it.

I've been working on getting the house back into shape now that I have some energy. My hope is that we will all develop these new habits so that when the baby comes the house will be a refuge and the family (boys especially) will be in habits that can be maintained while I am in recovery. I explained this to them on Saturday as we worked on getting the living room cleaned and they agreed it was important.

I talked to Julie on Friday. She is the only person besides Matthew (well, and the midwives) that I have actually said I am pregnant or having a baby. I keep thinking about spilling the beans on facebook but it still feels taboo. I feel like once my big u/s next month happens, it will be more real and THEN I'll make a 'big' deal about it. I haven't mentioned it to my counselors either though I wonder how much longer I'll be able to 'hide' it. I noticed my secretary do a glance at my tummy today but it could have been nothing too. It's odd that I don't mind my TX people knowing but I don't feel ready for the locals to know.

I think all the productivity of the rest of the week wore me out. I felt so tired and headachey all day. Probably the crying from the news of a friend's death didn't help either. Both tonight and last night when I went to bed I was hurting near my pubic bone which makes me think that maybe I can't handle plyo jumping though I really need to do something b/c I feel flabbily uncomfortable - especially in my legs. By the end of the night the waist band on my pants was really bothersome too.

I am thinking of breaking my silence on FB b/c I could use some feedback about these stupid car seats. Round and round I go.... ugh

I've been excited to try out  my new maternity jeans, so I started on Monday. They haven't worked out quite as well as I'd hoped but they are comfy when I first put them on. Monday I chose the mid band one and they were sliding down all day long. I figured I would have to make a different undergarment choice and maybe that would help. Today I am wearing them again and it is more of the same. Oh well. I don't feel constricted in them at least. Tues I wore the ones that has the fabric that comes up to my chest (which will eventually cover a large belly). They slid down as well, but not as bad as the band ones do. Yesterday I wore my sweat pants and it was kind of nice to have clothes that would stay up, but it won't be long before they feel kind of snug.

Tuesday I had my appt. I am measuring right on target for 15 weeks and we heard the baby's heartbeat nice and clear :) My next appt is Feb 4th and I have the slip for my ultrasound. I am having a hard time waiting!! Yesterday I was at WalMart so I browsed through the fabric real quick and found one that I liked. It is a blue background with stacked bowls and cherries scattered around. It has some nice varieties of color. I didn't have a lot of time to find coordinating fabrics, but I did find one that had small squares of color that seemed to match it. I talked to Mom last night about it and she is working on other quilts right now and wondered if she should figure out a pattern or if I had one in mind. I think she does a great job finding patterns and I do well at figuring out the coordination of the fabrics.

Target has been having a mega clearance sale as they update inventory. I found an Eddie Bauer travel set for $65 but I have continued to research and discovered it really isn't great :/ It is sitting in the back of the van waiting to determine if it goes back or not. The more I look and research, the more my price point changes. Although I have lots of time to find one, I don't have a lot of time to decide if I want these bargain priced ones. This is the first time I've actually shopped for a new car seat b/c I've always had used ones. Seems ironic that I'd get a new one for #3. In the process I've realized that there's a good chance that the seat Aaron is in is expired or will soon :/ blah

I've been having weird dreams and usually involve injury or death or a non-existant baby. I am going to chalk it up to still being nervous about losing the baby. I look forward to being able to feel the baby somewhat regularly so there is not doubt about it growing.