Timing...

Nothing like some good news to lift the spirits.... Matthew passed his pt test last month which has been a huge hurdle for his career aspirations. Supposedly a job was waiting for him pending his success, but that was at least 4 months ago and a failure was in the mix too. Just a moment ago I just happened to decide to look up usajobs.gov because it had been awhile. To my surprise, there is a post for a unit admin at fort dix, NJ that opened today and closes the 23rd. I think this may be it!!! I tried calling Matthew but for some reason the call would not go through so I txted him. There is a position open it Ft Totten, NY as well which is just a little bit in from NJ so it is a reasonable distance as well. I am in awe at the timing of this.

When I was set apart in my new calling as a primary teacher, I was told that I would have the desires of my heart. I wasn't sure what desire the Lord was referring to. In the past it was clearly to have a baby and although I at times still feel that way, I don't think that was it. I think my biggest desire has been to stay in this area - this neighborhood - maybe even this house. Though I have hoped, I could not see how it would come to fruition. I could not see a motivation for our house-mates to leave. Saturday night I heard one: a possible opportunity for them to move to CA at the end of May. It is only a possibility, but what are the odds?! Should it happen in our current situation however, the $1800 rent plus utilities is out of our reach. We would not be able to afford staying here. I wondered if Matthew were to get the Army job if that would make staying a possibility. And lo and behold, the job has opened up just two days later. I don't know if I am hoping for too much, but I see the Lord's hand in this. It is too much of a coincidence for it not to be a blessing come to pass. So, I cross my fingers and pray that maybe things are working for our good in a more visible way.

Treading

I feel like I am sinking. I am tired. I know where the life boat is but it takes too much effort to reach it. As I struggled through my run emotionally and physically the song Walk Tall You're a Daughter started in my mind. I know it was meant to lift me up and comfort me.

This is an exercise in humility. I sat down at the table and opened the scriptures after my run (Something I've been neglecting which I know just exacerbates the problem) and opened to where I left off in 1 Nephi  -- they get the Liahona and the bows break. I was drawn to the fact that even Lehi murmured at that point. I tried to imagine what he was complaining about: Lord, this is your journey.  We have done all you wanted of us. We are hungry and this is hard. Why did the bows have to break? Or maybe he was just tired too. I realize that just because it is the Lord's journey doesn't mean that bad things won't happen. Why shouldn't they happen?

Having a Me Party

Tonight is the General RS Broadcast. A Stake dinner is beginning in 15 minutes. I have looked forward to this night for weeks because I could have the opportunity to be with other women. Matthew won't be home for another 20 minutes and it is a good 30 minutes to get to the Stake Center. I had planned on asking to carpool but with him working there was no point in asking. The fact I know so few people is hard too. I miss my friends.