Amazing Coincidence? No, Amazing Grace

Let me tell you a story about The Three Books.


When I was called as Primary President in March of 2011, I sought out a blank book that Matthew had on the shelf and requested permission to claim it as my own to use as a journal. Many months later a blessing was given with counsel to write in my journal daily during this year of fire as it would be necessary for my posterity's sake. Although I have not been exact in my daily requirement, I have kept it up regularly.

From July 26, 2011:

I had a thought/picture this morning of my writing to the future generations who will read this account. I was thinking more about the blessing I received. In it, I was counseled to keep a daily record - the good and hard times - because it will serve a great purpose for those who come after me. I thought of the Book of Mormon and the counsel given to keep a record and the manifestations of the Spirit. I wondered if some of the 'knowings' and 'dealings' came from Priesthood blessings such as my own.

As I remember that this record is to be of value to my posterity, I begin to see Nephi's feelings more fully. He would not fill his journal with the mundane things but of those things that are of most value - the things of the Spirit and their relationship with God. What will my posterity gain from this record? What is it that would help them the most? I believe the promptings & inspirations are of great value, but perhaps my faith and testimony in the everyday life is of worth as well. I shall have to ponder this further and find out if the Lord needs me to record specific things....

I was thinking more about scripture comparisons. From the beginning I have thought of Nephi and felt like he did. Matthew compared himself to Abraham. Both men experienced a trial of faith, but the elements were different. I see them both.

Monday, December 12 I was sitting at my computer when I heard a large vehicle on our street. Soon I heard a shuffling sound and the doorbell ring. I was surprised to discover a bunch of wrapped packages waiting for us along with a note from The Happy Elves. On the back was a calendar with the dates leading up to Christmas circled. I wondered if this was the first of many visits from the Happy Elves. Amongst the presents for the boys was one for me. The paper had torn a bit and a soft blanket peeked at me.

From Friday, Dec 16, 2011 (the last page of my journal)

This morning my scripture reading paralleled my life again. I had asked myself what kind of journal I should keep. This is Nephi's answer in 1 Nephi 6:3-6 : "the things which are pleasing unto the world I do not write, but the things which are pleasing unto God and unto those who are not of the world; ... not occupy these plates with things which are not of worth unto the children of men; .. I write the things of God."

Sunday, December 18, 2011
Gifts

My heart is full today as I reflect on the blessings I've been showered with. It has been a tough week filled with wonderful things that also carried a lot of stress in it. I've also filled my journal so I'm feeling at a loss as to where to write.

Thurs, December 22 Mom called asking if she could borrow the boys from me. I was so glad to hear this question because I had just been contemplating how I was going to get to the store to finish my Christmas shopping for them. I wondered if she wanted to take them shopping for me, so I told the boys that just in case anyone wanted to know, what I really wanted for Christmas was a new journal. Jared suggested a new spiral notebook, but I told him I didn't want one like that. I reminded him what my journal looked like so he could understand what kind I wanted. He understood. That night he told me he found a new spiral on his desk I could use. He showed it to me and I let him know that it actually belonged to him to be used as a journal. That very night he opened it up and wrote in it. His first entry: "I am happy."

Sunday, December 25, 2011 (5 am)
Longing.....

I am missing my journal these days :( I filled it last week and have so much to add, but have neglected writing here too. Last night I got on the computer with the intent of writing and went back to bed before I remembered that had been my intent :/

Around 9:30 am our final gift was discovered along with this note:

We hope you have enjoyed your Twelve Days of Christmas.

The Lord testified in many hearts independently this Christmas season, that Sister ... was deserving of blessings because of her faithfulness.

'Yeah, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.' (D&C 8:2)

Many returns for your faithful service to your sisters and unyielding prayers for the children of the ward.

'And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them.' (Moses 7:18)

And let that which belongs to this people be appointed unto this people. And the money which is left unto this people - let there be an agent appointed unto this people, to take the money to provide food and raiment, according to the wants of this people. And let every man deal honestly, and be alike among this people, and receive alike, that ye may be one, even as I have commanded you. (D&C 51:7-9)

This is not the result of our observations about your financial needs. It is a gift to you from the Lord.

And I said unto them, that it should be granted unto them according to their faith in their prayers. (D&C 10:47)

Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you; and, if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation.

'Therefore this is thy gift; apply it unto it, and blessed art thou, for it shall deliver you...' (D&C 8:4)

Sunday, December 25, 2011 (about 5:30 am)

I talked to a Known Elf [Friday] about the 12 days of Christmas. She said that the most she can say is that I am very loved. I feel that way and am humbled by the generosity of each of these families who gave so much to us. So many times I thought how nice something would be and then it would appear as a gift. How can that be unless there are those who are in tune with the Spirit because He knows the desires of my heart?

Christmas presents seem so much more important and exciting to children so I always let them go for it and not worry about opening mine. However, my children have such good hearts and remembered my presents and encouraged me to open mine before all of theirs were even done.
Since I'd already seen the blanket peeking from the wrapping, I left it for last. I had no clue that that first gift that I had saved for last would contain my most treasured possession.
Tucked inside the blanket was a beautiful new journal. Tears poured down my cheeks as I felt Heavenly Father's love for me. Before I'd even asked for a new journal, one was waiting for me under the tree. This is Book Two. This simple book feels so sacred to me because it represents a loving Father who anticipates our needs and the faithfulness of others who follow the promptings of the Spirit. How could I fill its pages with anything but "the things of God?"


Book Three arrived in the form of a gift from the boys. Mom had indeed taken the boys shopping for me. They were able to relay my desire for a new journal and now another wonderful book waiting for words is in my possession. I am thankful for my loving family and their desire to fill my needs as well.


To the Happy Elves, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Words cannot adequately express my love and appreciation for you and the sacrifices your families have made on our behalf.

Longing.....

I am missing my journal these days :( I filled it last week and have so much to add, but have neglected writing here too. Last night I got on the computer with the intent of writing and went back to bed before I remembered that had my intent :/

It is 5 am and I am finally done with Christmas preparations. I have been going to sleep snuggling with the boys and waking up between midnight and 1 am then being awake for several hours. Tonight I told the boys that if they want Christmas to be ready then they'd have to go to bed themselves. They really wanted to do that, but I realized that I was too tired to do anything anyway so I went ahead and snuggled with them. It was a little after midnight when I got up. I gathered everything and just felt overwhelmed.

I thought of all the little things that Matthew does for Christmas for the boys and it just made me miss him. We've been so blessed by the generosity of others that I felt like we have too much so I sat there wondering what to do about giving it all to the boys. I finally decided I needed to pray and get some focus. I felt better and was able to go back to work.

This week felt like it was so long and then all of a sudden it was over. I've been trying to get everything done. Today we made the candy airplane ornaments and were able to deliver them this evening. It was wonderful to see the joy in their faces - especially the lonely ones. We were invited in, but declined every time. The boys called me selfish because they wanted to go in (especially to the first one even though they had no idea who he was. I should have accepted his offer because I am sure he could have used the company). We were going to do gingerbread (graham cracker) houses tonight but it just got to be too late. So hopefully we can do it tomorrow at Mom's and invite Mike and Tran (Drun) to make some too.

I talked to Julie yesterday about the 12 days of Christmas. She told me that it was not who I thought it was who organized it. She said that the most she can say is that I am very loved. I feel that way and am humbled by the generosity of each of these families who gave so much to us. So many times I thought how nice something would be and then it would appear as a gift. How can that be unless there are those who are in tune with the Spirit because He knows the desires of my heart. Today with the gift I got a typed letter regarding this 'project'. Here are the words:

We hope you have enjoyed your Twelve Days of Christmas.

The Lord testified in many hearts independently this Christmas season, that Sister Valerie Baugh was deserving of blessings because of her faithfulness.

'Yeah, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.' (D&C 8:2)

Many returns for your faithful service to your sisters and unyielding prayers for the children of the ward.

'And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them.' (Moses 7:18)

And let that which belongs to this people be appointed unto this people. And the money which is left unto this people - let there be an agent appointed unto this people, to take the money to provide food and raiment, according to the wants of this people. And let every man deal honestly, and be alike among this people, and receive alike, that ye may be one, even as I have commanded you. (D&C 51:7-9)

This is not the result of our observations about your financial needs. It is a gift to you from the Lord.

And I said unto them, that it should be granted unto them according to their faith in their prayers. (D&C 10:47)

Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you; and, if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation.

'Therefore this is thy gift; apply it unto it, and blessed art thou, for it shall deliver you...' (D&C 8:4)

Gifts

My heart is full today as I reflect on the blessings I've been showered with. It has been a tough week filled with wonderful things that also carried a lot of stress in it. I've also filled my journal so I'm feeling at a loss as to where to write.

The night of the 12th we had a large package drop-off full of Christmas presents for our family and a note that it came from the Happy Elves. On the back was a calendar with dates circled leading up to Christmas and the note 12 days of Christmas. I wondered if that meant that someone was going to treat us to the 12 days of Christmas = gifts of some sort every day. I wasn't going to count on it, or expect it, but sure enough every day but Saturday night we've had SOMETHING. We have been really blessed. We've received a lot of food and presents for the boys and some money for me to use at Home Depot and then today at HEB. One night the Blacks left something and that was the night no anonymous gifts were left, so I wondered if there was some coordinating going on. Jared and Aaron wondered and wondered who could be leaving stuff for us. They wanted to wait up and catch the deliverers, but I reminded them that we don't want to get caught when doing our heart attacks so they wouldn't either. Well, today the cat was let out of the bag a bit. One of the elves asked me if I'd be home and apologized that she missed her day. In that moment I knew that indeed there was some coordination going on and I suspect SW is behind it, but I will never ask (even though I really want to know). I have my suspicions about who filled our porch with food. My biggest question really is how they managed to pull this off without me finding out? And when did they decide to do this?

I had Jared make a list of all the people we've heart attacked and crossed off the ones who I knew for sure would not participate in a reciprocation. Interestingly enough, the remainder is 12. Talk about karma. I started the heart attacks because every day when I come home I wonder and wish that there was something waiting for me on the porch and it's always a disappointment to return to nothing. I decided to do something about it for other people not expecting anything in return and yet here we are months later receiving something on our porch every day. The Lord loves me and knows my heart.

Today after church Jared was sorting through the presents under the tree and asked what the big bucket of laundry soap was. When I told him, he thought that was a silly present and wondered who would want laundry soap. I told him I would. We're almost out and we needed it. Jared is becoming more and more aware of our lack and is labeling us poor. He again brought it up as we discussed the laundry soap, but I corrected him and told him we are not poor. We are very blessed and our needs are met which means we are rich. I tried to stress to him that the Lord is taking care of us and to be grateful for those blessings. He had an ah-ha moment that I hope will stick with him.

The capstone of my week was today's demands between ward council, music practice, teaching sharing time, and having stuff ready for teachers for the new year. It was really quite overwhelming, but I did the best I could and the Lord made up the rest. Sharing time was amazing. The Spirit was so strong and both groups were captivated and participated. I especially enjoyed SR primary because we had some good discussion and geniune learning going on. Those are the moments that I treasure.

We did our Christmas presentation in Sacrament mtg which meant a lot of demands for my piano playing. I agreed to do all the hymns because it isn't really that big of a deal, but as I sat at the piano beforehand wondering how I was going to manage ALL that music I wished I'd declined and let Sis. Andrew take care of the hymns but it turned out just fine. My biggest worry was the music for O Holy Night. I practiced for awhile after playing with Kelly yesterday but today I was not in the zone and was messing up quite a bit when we ran through it. I ran out of time for going over it again though and had to just accept that it was what it was and prayed for help. It was not perfect, but it was pretty darn close. For the first time that I can remember, when the Spirit and music moved me I didn't get so shaky and nervous that I began messing up. I maintained it and that was such a great feeling. It was a privilege to be apart of something so wonderful. I love Christmas programs because the music is always amazing and inspiring. I am so grateful for the talent and gift of playing the piano.